Goals. Resolutions. Plans. Projects. I can hear different voices in my head, that this idea of productivity is a capitalist endeavour, that unless we are doing we are seen as lazy. We must be productive, we must produce, we must be active, we must work. And I am a lover of idleness. Of keeping still, of thinking, of watching, external passiveness with a storm of internal thought. I suppose that’s why I can work from home and not be crippled by the solitude.
But still. That idle simmer of languid thought builds up and it needs somewhere to go, and that’s where the doing comes in, the action and it feels so good when it comes out.
I like resolutions for the New Year because you have a whole year to do it, a whole year for your desires to cook and pop. You make them in the midst of that colour switch from the gold, silver and coloured lights of the holiday season to the sunny white, pale blue and coming green of the new year. Everything seems clean ahead of you. And with that pen and piece of paper, all ready to write down your goals for the year, you have the power to create, to make things happen. It’s just between you and the paper, a conversation with yourself and your secret desires.
This is the second year that I’ve decided to put my resolutions in a book instead of keeping them as a list in my notebook. In book form, it exists as something separate from the rest of my outpourings of emotions, memories and to-do lists that fill my notebook. I kept the 2014 book on the mantle to collect dust, but every now and then I’d flip through the pages. Surprisingly, even without being completely conscious of it, I managed to do them all. I put in some easy ones like ‘get married’ (the date was already set) but there were other ones that I did like take up jogging (I managed to run a 5k race) and start a blog (hello) which makes me feel like I accomplished something, or least took myself for my word. Even if I didn’t do them all well (after the 5k race I stopped running and starting eating cake when I began working in a bakery), I still did them and that’s a good feeling.
So this year, I wanted to do it again in a book and I used the little notebooks that we made for our wedding. (I told you how to do it here.) I like the way the small book fits in my hand and I like turning the pages.
Here they are:
- Write. This is always number 1 every year. But this year I’d like to publish more and get paid for it. Finish more stories. Join a writing group.
- Poems. Make a list of books read in 2015. This is a fun one! (And I can use one of the little notebooks for it.)
- Keep blogging and let it evolve if it wants to go in a different direction.
- Make a writer’s website.
- Learn Indesign.
- Do Pilates/Yoga.
- Make a quilt. An easy one with big pieces of fabric.Do more readings. Perform new material.
Having them written into something that I can hold makes me think that each goal is an object, something I can hold, a little baby to grown. You should do it, too. I think it will make you feel good.